How do you learn how to fail?

We are coming to the end of our first class getting us ready for cross culture living. There have been many topics covered including; Values, Soul Care, Transition, Stress, Lifestyle Choices, and Conflict (a personal favorite). I have learned several things I want to work on or work into my daily routine to help me cope with my new life.

One day we talked about transitioning into a new way of life, in a new place, with a new home, in a new culture, with new people, speaking a new language. We were given the three most important skills to have to help us make any transition an easier one.

• realistic goal/task orientation
• sense of humor
• ability to respond to failure

Well, it is that failure one that Ron and I both have a hard time with. We also know that in learning a new language and adapting to new things we need to be willing to try and fail. During our time here we have identified that when we discover a skill we want to be better at we need to finds ways to practice it. So, how do we work to improve how we respond to failure, how do we practice failure?

What came to mind for me was learning to play golf. I started about 18 months ago, when I thought it would be fun to play with Ron. It has been an interesting process- from reading a book about it (something I always do first), to the driving range, to playing my first round on a par 3 course just with Ron, to playing a scramble format with family on a beautiful nice course in Oregon (a great way to play with good golfers), and then playing 18 holes in a foursome with 2 other young guys I had never met.

There are so many emotions involved in doing something that you know you will do badly, and having others see and know you do it badly also. I can go from laughing, to 'who cares', to frustration and anger, to embarrassment, to giving up all in the same hole. I still have that dreaded feeling when I step up to hit the ball but I also know how good it feels to hit it and see it actually go where I wanted it to go. So, I need to get back out there and face those feelings.

Ron decided playing video games with his kids would put him in a position of failure so we tried it this last weekend. Yep, he laughed, he got mad, he was embarrassed, he was frustrated, but at least he never gave up.

We would love you hear your ideas on how we can practice!!